ok so ive had a rough couple of days.. ok so on the 18th i got to work i wasnt in a laughing mood but steven tried to get me to laugh. he thought i was mad i guess and walked to the back and started cleaning up back there i did some dishes and worked with greg and rodney. steven got to leave early and every one started cleaning. they pulled the grill up and cleaned behind it and of course i got a big butt and it was hard for me to get in between the table and grill so they sent me on break. i text steven and he doesnt text me all that much unlike usual so i go back to break and start cooking and making sandwiches and we start cleaning early and we get out earlier than normal. i get home and start chargin my phone and a couple mins later steven text and was like why didnt you text me and getting all upset and i told him my phone was dead, and he started talking about why didnt you talk to me at work so we start talkin about why that was and how i felt and all that and i go to bed and wake up this morning and he tried to text me at 3 so today was a bad day. today is my best friends birthday and its horrible cause shes not even here to celebrate like we should be doing. two years ago she drowned. i was there that day and it was very devastating. it was the most horrible feeling in the world. so i get up and sit around and finally get ready to go to brunswick because i have to turn in paper work for college. i get there and there is a lot of people there and i have to sit and wait and while waiting steven starts texting me about how were still friends and i finally get all this stuff off my chest about how i get tired of him changing his mind and all that and he starts sending me these really long messages and basically he told me im not good enough is what i got out of it. what would you think if some one told you youd make a wonderful girl friend just not for me.. well i finally got to see the financial aid lady and i was almost in tears by the time i saw here so i sucked it up and talked to her it turns out i brought the wrong paper work. so i went to brunswick for no reason. so that sucks. but i headed home and saw a road side stand on the exit so i stopped to buy some peaches. this guy was really cute and flirted with me. and he ended up giving me twice as many as i had paid for... i should have got his number or gave him mine thats what i get huh. but maybe he will still be there tomorrow?? mmm makes me wonder lol so after today i decided im no longer going to be shy... its going to be hard but im tired of cowering away from guys i want to give random guys my number and talk to guys and all that .. like a normal girl would.
so tomorrow i have nothing to do i think im going to clean all day. my room could deffinatly use it lol so good night.. ill be able to go to sleep like a normal person tonight. cause i wont be up talking on the phone with douche bags lol
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